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Today I went for the first Thai massage that I have had since August. It was the longest gap for a while. This was caused by the Thai lady flying backwards and forwards to Thailand because her mother was very ill and then sadly passing away. The Thai lady's daughter then had her baby in Norwich three days after mum arrived home for the second time from Thailand and so she stopped working to help her daughter with her new baby. I saw mum today and although only a teenager she is taking to motherhood like a duck to water and all is well so mum can go back to work.
The Thai lady is lovely to me and regularly talks to me via Whats App because she is concerned that I live alone. Today she invited me to spend Christmas with her and her family. That was so kind and genuine. I am going for a two hour massage just before Christmas and then we will discuss further.
Like the Indian doctor taking my hand this gesture of friendship was most welcome and something in this day and age that people do not always have time for. Neighbours here bring me cake, they bring my bin in, they talk to me. But the outstretching of professionals to reach me with warmth and friendship is something beyond the call of duty. I pay for the massage, I go to the NHS for medical help. Sometimes the medical help is a doctor staring at the computer while I sit next to him/her longing for some eye contact. Some give the bare minimum and some, like the Thai lady and the Indian doctor, give a little bit more. Genuine concern and caring is visible when it happens and does so much that is invisible and counts a million times over and above someone just ticking boxes and calling 'next'. I have lots of friends, things I do, and yet I can still be very lonely. Today made up for all the bad things, the busy and the acidic.
Small, bright moments like those in our lives can make such a difference can't they.
ReplyDeleteThey really do. It is difficult to put into words how much of a difference they make, but whatever it is, they do. That invitation meant so much to me. xx
DeleteSometimes all we need is the human touch and a bit of compassion. I've been ill this year and ended up with anxiety and depression. The GP has been checking in on me with a phone call every couple of weeks to ask how I am doing. That gesture has made me feel like I matter and I thanked him for his kindness. x
ReplyDeleteI think the elderly Indian doctor saw beyond the physical and that I was troubled and he let go of the computer keyboard and turned to face me. You sound like you also have come across a great GP who is going beyond the normal call of duty. Small things but making one feel one matters is so important to getting better. xx
DeleteI very much agree with JayCee's comment, and I aspire to be someone who gives such small moments of kindness and joy to others.
ReplyDeleteYesterday on my way to work, a stranger smiled at me, and when I was at the office, a colleague held the door to the kitchen open for me when he saw I as carrying a few mugs and my water flask.
Your Thai friend sounds like a very kind and generous person, and I am certain that her invitation to spend Christmas with her is 100 % genuine. The Chinese lady who does my back and shoulder massage once a week (when I can) is developing into something of a friend. We talk more now than before, and more personal things, too. It helps that her German has greatly improved over the last year. We have also exchanged small gifts when either of us returned from a holiday, and plan on going for a walk together some time soon.
Yes, my Thai lady's invitation for Christmas is 100% genuine and the invitation to go means so much to me even if I don't go. There is a problem in that there are no trains on Christmas Day or Boxing Day and I always travel to her house by train and I do not like driving, particularly in winter. I also help my lady with English as you do your Chinese lady. Yesterday I had to reassure her that the visit of a Health Visitor to her daughter and baby is routine for new mothers in England and not something to be seen as sinister (as the Thai lady had thought). Her messages on WhatsApp are often voice messages to me because she finds written English very difficult. We can all help each other in small ways if we just stop to think.
DeleteI can so identify with this good feeling that human closeness and compassion produce. In real life I have enough people that I can receive it from, but in real time when my life here was in real danger daily I was surprised at myself when I discovered that I was looking for compassion and kind words here in this parallel world of Blogland. Every kind word was for me like a kind of imaginary protective wall that I believed was really protecting me, as strange as it sounds.
ReplyDeleteHello Yael. I visited the doctors surgery three times in four weeks and it was only at the third visit that the elderly Indian doctor could see that I wanted some caring and understanding that the first two doctors did not give me. I also get care and compassion from the Thai lady who has a natural understanding of the human psyche which I think comes from her culture where people do not leave a family member alone.
DeleteHello Rachel! I'm glad to see you back here blogging. I'm at work on my lunch break so only have a moment but I wanted to pop and and say hi. ☺️
ReplyDeletePop in, not pop. I hate typing on my phone! Lol.
DeleteHi Jennifer. Thank you for popping in to see me on my new blog. It is evening here and I am watching Left-Handed Girl on Netflix. There, a Netflix recommendation for you!
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