Thursday, 9 April 2026

Together or Outside

A lot of people need group hug-ins to keep going. Hypothetical ones as well as actual.   I have always been on the outside of this type of assumed, imagined love-in of agreement, group behaviour.   I survive without.  They group round an imaginary candle flame nodding to each other.  I wonder why some  of us survive without that and others need it so desperately.  I don't understand them looking in as the outsider that I am.   How different some of us are.  I like independence from that kind of thing.  I don't really fit. 


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10 comments:

  1. Simone9 April 2026 at 09:45

    Have you ever tried a Myers Brigg personality test Rachel? I did it years ago and came out as an INFJ personality - one of the least liked! I am interested in psychology and what makes us tick. I now wonder if I am trying to fit into the mould of an INFJ or if that is who I truly am. You can do the tests free on line. You may find it useful and it may or may not give you some answers. X

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    1. New World 9 April 2026 at 09:59

      I may have done it in the past but never seen the result because it is guessable without being told! I know who I am and what I am. After all, I have lived with me for long enough to know! xx

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  2. walking in beauty carmarthenshire9 April 2026 at 09:51

    I dont need it either. after livving here for 27 years , I dont know any one. I suppose that it would be beneficial on occasions though.
    I think that I know more people in america than I know in this country, some are very dear to me. I am not anti social, just don't feel the need of lots of other people.
    Walk in beauty
    Kathy

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    1. New World 9 April 2026 at 10:03

      I am very sociable but I am still an outsider in all circumstances but that doesn't bother me. I know my neighbours here and where there have been major problems amongst them recently over a planning application I am the only one who maintains contact, and remains friends, with all of them. Ironic really but as I was never in the love-ins I am neither in the fall-outs. I am now the go-between. I never felt the need to be involved in the love-ins, just ticked along nicely as I was. x

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    2. walking in beauty carmarthenshire9 April 2026 at 10:24

      I am not antisocial, Rachel, in fact we are loved my many people, its just that I am happy with myself and dont feel I need to join things,
      I just remenbered, My grandmother was country Cornish and said I was a very strange child, she thought i was a changling, amd one of the small dark people ( folk memory , I think, she said they drove us into the hills)
      Kathy

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    3. New World 9 April 2026 at 10:32

      Exactly as you describe Kathy. I never thought for one moment you were anti-social, I identified with what you said. xx

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  3. Cro Magnon10 April 2026 at 05:32

    There was a trend, not so long ago, for schoolchildren to hug each other every morning. I believe it was frowned-upon. I can't think why!

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  4. Librarian10 April 2026 at 08:13

    Often enough, I simply don't "get" people. For instance, why the need to accumulate material possessions all the time, stuff they don't need, and then complain that their houses are too full, and renting expensive storage units so that they can make room in their houses - for MORE stuff? Or what makes a person stop and stare at an accident, when their intention is clearly not to help? What makes them talk loudly on their phones or watch noisy videos while on a train, imposing their conversation/music/video on everyone else, whether they want it or not?
    Why the need to have children, going to great lengths to have them and pay for difficult and expensive treatments, instead of adopting (if they are so desperate to have children)? Why not take responsibility for their own physical and mental health, once they are old enough and don't depend on their parents looking after them?
    Why take the cheapest of holiday in a foreign country and then complain about the quality of food etc., and skimp on the tips for the staff who are working under conditions close to slavery?

    I often keep my mouth shut when my colleagues or other people discuss personal problems, and it makes me feel an outsider, but a happy one at that!

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    1. New World 10 April 2026 at 08:34

      What a wonderful comment Meike. I agree with all you say. It has often been my downfall that I don't keep my mouth shut but as I get older I am controlling myself more and doing a kind of invisible count to 10 and saying nothing. Rachel

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