Missing a Man

It is a beautiful morning here again and the sun is in my eyes as I sit typing.  It has been wet during the night but the rain has stopped now.  The temperature is pleasant.

Each day I do my daily exercises.  I prefer to do them outside.  I started doing them indoors but there was always the temptation indoors to take a lazy attitude, peeking at something on the table, being pulled to the comfort of an easy chair, not taking them quite seriously enough.   One good thing that came out of  Covid lockdowns is that they made me appreciate outdoor living when I sat with my brother and his wife outside in their garden when his wife refused all guests access to the house during the Lockdown time so I am happy to do the exercises outside. 

I now have a space in the garage too which I have designated for the exercises on days when it is raining.  I have used this space twice now and it works well, giving me fresh air, good for breathing,  and leg space for the stretching and manouevres and my phone picks up the You Tube channel so I can still follow the session. 

I have been doing the exercises for over a month now and feeling the benefit I think.

You may recall that earlier this year I started seeing a man who I met at the Creative East sessions who asked me out at Christmas time.  I eventually started seeing him in January and had a perfect seven months with him.  I believe it was meant to be that it happened because you will know that I was required to write a collection of poetry for my Masters dissertation.  Well, this seven months of dating gave me plenty of poetry material.  If you are writing a collection of poems you need a subject even if only a loose topic.  My collection was actually about a three month period of the summer of 2025 so included the time I was with him.  Some poems were specifically about my "love" journey, others about cinema visits, and some fantasy as well.   

I put it down as fate that this relationship happened.   It has now ended but it was not me that ended it and I was sad, and am still sad, that we no longer see each other.  However, I am old enough and long enough in the tooth to not let it get me down, it was as it was meant to be and I enjoyed it while it lasted.   The ending was a mystery and it had the modern twist to it that I believe I have been "ghosted" as they call it.  This is not a modern twist that I like but seems to be the modern way of saying goodbye.  On our last day out he got up and walked off and said he wanted to change his life.  He did not say goodbye, explain anything about his "change his life" statement; we had not argued or disagreed, we had had our usual laughter, jokes, putting the world to rights, general sharing conversation.    A man sitting at the table opposite smiled and shrugged at my friend's sudden departure and I said "I don't know what happened".  

What went through his mind I do not know.  Lots of people ask me about him because they all knew him and apart from me missing him they also miss him too.  There were never many men around in the groups we go to and he was  popular with everybody.    I still hope that one day we will get together again if only for a coffee and a chat.  He is missed in the groups too and I wish he would return.